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How to Take Care of Yourself like a Grown-Up
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05 Feb, 2019
Honestly? University is hard. Between working to earn top grades, juggling co-curricular activities to build your resume, searching for co-op jobs, and balancing social commitments, it is a time of tremendous challenge and change. Many students head off to university with pre-diagnosed mental health conditions, and recent research suggests that young adulthood is the most common age of onset for mental health challenges. With all of this in mind, it is SO important that universities respond to the growing demand for support in the difficult transition from high school to university life – and that’s exactly what we’re doing here at St. Jerome’s. Today, I hope to provide some insight into some of the challenges you may face in your transition, share with you some of my own experiences with change and support, and welcome you into the incredibly accommodating and caring community fostered by staff and students at SJU.
Many First Year students encounter three main transitional challenges:
1. Gaining Independence
When I first moved away from home and into Residence at SJU, I was buzzing with excitement to become an independent adult – but let me tell you, it got real scary, real quick. All of a sudden, it was my responsibility to call to make my own appointments and I had to get my first needle without my mom there to hold my hand. During my very first week at university I got on the bus with the bold intention of making it to Conestoga Mall, but I ended up in Kitchener, lost and a little afraid. If I couldn’t navigate a city bus system, how was I supposed to graduate? I’ve learned that University will bring a lot of new experiences and its okay to feel overwhelmed from time to time. No one actually expects you to have everything figured out and asking for help is a sign of maturity, not weakness.
2. Loneliness
Hours away from all of my high school friends, it was sometimes difficult to take notice of the incredible community around me. At times it felt like I was the only one not thriving and making connections. When I was able to push myself out of my comfort zone, I realized that I wasn’t alone. Almost everyone I talked to was in the same boat, feeling apprehensive and a little isolated. Ironically enough, conversations about not having any friends lead to some of my most cherished friendships.
3. Perfectionism
High school never prepared me to fail. The first time I received a bad mark, it felt like I’d fallen into a Spanish 101 shaped sinkhole and I would never recover. Probably the most important thing I learned that year was that one bad mark is not the end of the world. It isn’t a competition. You’re at University to learn and, at the end of the day, your experiences are worth much more than the sum of your marks.
These challenges aren’t unique to university students, but when life feels precarious and uncertain, as it often does during university, loneliness, perfectionism, and the struggle for independence can take a stronger hold and lead to more serious concerns. Make sure you know the warning signs! You or one of your friends might be at risk if you notice excessive sleeping, or a lack thereof, anti-social behaviour, changes in hygiene, or apathy about classes and extra-curriculars. Look out for yourself and your peers and make a commitment to wellness.
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Top 10 Ways to Take Care of Yourself like a Grown-Up:
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Maintain Healthy Relationships – Seek compassion and empathy in the people you surround yourself with, and don’t be afraid to let go of poor relationships.
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Develop Coping Skills – Counselling Services has an array of workshops and seminars focused on emotional regulation, self-compassion, mindfulness, managing stress, resilience… the list goes on.
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Have Positive Learning Experiences – Take classes that genuinely interest you with professors who want to see you thrive, and learn from your community outside of the classroom.
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Seek Academic Support – Joe Varamo, the SJU Academic Advisor, and the Peer Academic Leaders (PALs) are incredible resources if you’re worried about your classes! If you’re in need of accommodations, AccessAbility Services can get you set up for success.
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Get Involved in Your Community – Whether that means taking on a leadership position or attending Bachelor night in the TV room, take advantage of the countless opportunities to make connections!
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Engage in Physical Activity – Join in on intramurals in the SJ Gym or yoga flows in the Wellness Studio to get those endorphins pumping
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Commit to a Balanced Diet – It’s easy when your meal plan is all-you-can-eat, fresh, local, and made from scratch (not to mention delicious!)
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Set Goals (and Achieve Them!) – Start small and be proud of what you accomplish! Nothing feels better than a little hard-earned success.
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Take Notice – Be mindful of where you are and grateful for what you have access to – it can really turn a bad day around.
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Consider Intervention – University is a great time to make mental wellness a priority – services are free, confidential, and right on your doorstep.
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Taking care of yourself like a grown-up doesn’t mean you need to do it alone. Accessing supports on campus can be intimidating, but know that you will always be surrounded by people willing to help you out at SJU. I’ll leave you today with a few tips from Lindsay, our Wellness Coordinator on how to ease your transition to university.
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Be gentle on yourself. It’s so easy to engage in harsh self-talk, and when we look around us, this seems like the only acceptable thing to do. Ate too many sweets? Punish yourself at the gym! Got a 55% on the midterm? Study all night and ace the next one! While it’s great to motivate ourselves, it’s okay and actually good for us to accept the lows, the bad days, and the failures, too.
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Find some way to express yourself – through art, journaling, sports, movement, dance, singing, or other ways. University is an intense period of self-development, and expressing our thoughts and feelings is good for our emotional and physical wellbeing.
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Spend time alone. This could be one of the ways that you achieve the above tip, but spending time alone offers you the chance to get in touch with and reflect on our experiences.
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EAT! This one sounds like a no-brainer, but seriously, low blood sugar (or that shakey feeling you get from feeling hungry for too long) can feel just like the beginnings of a panic attack. Try to eat small snacks throughout the day that you enjoy.
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Talk to someone. One of the most difficult yet helpful things to do can be to talk to someone about what we’re going through. Tell your academic advisor if you’re struggling with your timetable, tell your doctor if you’re finding it difficult to get out of bed. If they won’t know how to help you, they can often refer you to someone who can!
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If you have any questions about the transition to university (or anything else), please feel free to reach out to me at outreach@sju.ca!
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